Too Much Overthinking
by JustClem
Summary: If Dani hadn't thought too much and just did what she wanted to do, none of this would've happened. Then again, if she'd done just that, their first kiss wouldn't be as special as this, and the events leading up to said kiss wouldn't be as entertainingly silly and stupidly mind-boggling.


Dani finds Grace holding the speaker of her phone to her ear, frowning intensely at the old song _Greensleeves_. It's enough of a hilarious sight as it is, and its hilarity doubles when she takes in the fact that Grace is resting her other hand on a thick-looking book, holding a pen and twirling it with inhuman speed and agility.

"What is this, rubia?" Dani frowns at the slip-up, and clears her throat. "I mean, what are you doing, estrella?" Damn it, that's worse! She's been living in this country for years already, she should _know _how to sound like she belongs here.

Grace doesn't seem to notice her strange, non-American way of speaking, and regards her seriously by twisting the chair to better look at her. "Did you know that there is a correlation between the genres of music and the emotional state of the world?"

No. She doesn't. But Grace seems interested, all soldier mode and nerd-ish with that book, so Dani leans onto the desk, and gets to be the one to look down at the other girl, for once.

"I'm guessing the world's happiness increased after Lana Del Ray was born?" Grace's eyes widen. Her genuine befuddlement gets to Dani, and she can't help but laugh, tilting her head back and almost hitting one of the shelves. "Oh my, do you always have to take everything seriously?"

"... No?"

Dani looks down and gives Grace a chesire grin. "I'll take that as a yes."

"I just said no."

"Exactly." Dani winks, and turns around, inspecting Grace's desk. Dani hasn't gotten the chance to visit Grace's room since they usually hang out in the living room, but it's nice to check out all the new things she's gotten. It calms her to understand that Grace is starting to adjust living here, in the past that is now her present. Dani picks out one of the books lying comfortably in her desk, and chuckles. "Shakespeare? Really?"

"Everyone speaks highly of him," Grace says, pushing the chair away and standing up, having to tilt her head down to look at Dani. Fucking height differences. "They say his work is indefinable. A perfect art form. Some even memorised his poems, as though it were the holy bible."

"Yeah?" Dani says, paying less attention to her words and more to her eyes. Always so intense. Never not curious.

"I never got the chance to read it. In my, um—" Grace halts. "In that place, there was this one time where a couple of hoarders found it. Just one itsy page. Torn and worn. They treated it like a miracle."

"It _does_ sound like a miracle."

Grace nods, and breathes, and that's when Dani realises how close they are. Dani leans more of her weight onto the desk in hopes of putting enough of a distance between the two of them. Her hopes don't come true, and Dani doesn't know if she's worried or turned on. "Naturally, I was curious."

"Naturally." When Grace no longer speaks, Dani scrambles to find a topic to latch onto, to keep the conversation going, to keep whatever the hell this is from fading away into nothingness. "Did you enjoy—"

"Of course I didn't. It's horrible." Dani blinks, snorts, and laughs. "It's true!" Despite the insistence, there's a trace of joy in Grace's tone, and Dani laughs louder. She puts her hand on Grace's shoulder and leans into Grace herself to keep her balance. She has to fight to keep herself from getting out of control.

Dani looks up, and finds that Grace has this transfixed and gentle look on her face. She wants to recoil, move away, and poke fun at Shakespeare, or maybe defend it. Instead, she smiles, and lets Grace hold her by the waist. "Y'know, I'm glad you got to read Shakespeare."

"Even if I hate it?"

Dani stands on her tippy toes and brushes a strand of Grace's hair away from her face. Her hand doesn't move away from her face. It rests calmly on Grace's cheek, loving. "He's overrated anyways."

Grace stares.

Dani stares.

Grace breathes.

Grace's breath brushes against Dani's cheek.

The front door slams open, and Sarah yells an ear-shattering _if none of ya are gonna help me out with these groceries, I'll send myself back to the past to kill both of ya! _

Grace obeys with a controlled _coming! _and runs outside like the disobedient soldier that she is, and Dani curses.

…

Dani realises what happened, and curses again.

She paces around the room, wondering why she didn't find out sooner, and why this is happening in the first place.

Grace is Grace! She's stiff, all soldier-like and puppy-dog eyes and doesn't know much of anything and how anything works, even if the way she talks suggests otherwise. She saved Dani because apparently Dani was some kind of all-mighty resistance leader in the timeline that doesn't exist, and now she's stuck here.

It's not that Dani dislikes her or anything. It's the complete opposite, in fact! She's just unsure of when and how this 'OMG she saved my life I will never let her out of my sight!' thing turned into an 'WTF she saved my life and I am now maybe kind of probably okay definitely in love with her what do I do?!'

But…

Grace is _Grace… _

She's stubborn, loyal, and a piece of work at times, but she always means well. She's ready to serve, ready to help, ready to be there for Dani at any time. She's been through so much, and she's still going strong, trying to be better, trying to learn how to be good, how to live, how to be human and alive, and she's _getting there. _

So really, how can Dani _not _be in love with her? _That's _the real ques—

"The fuck're you staring at space for?" Dani yelps, and tries to suckerpunch whoever's invaded her space, only for that someone to dislodge her incoming attack with a wrinkly, firm hand. "You suck at punching, y'know?"

"Sarah!"

Sarah lets go of her arm only to startle her again by jumping onto the couch. "That's my name." She gives Dani her signature _what is it? _look.

It takes Dani a while to find her voice. "Where's Grace?"

"Oh, yeah, that bastard." Sarah makes a face, as though Grace had betrayed her. "Came to pick her up only to find her in some kind of band practise."

Dani shifts uncomfortably as she always does whenever someone or some_thing _reminds her that Grace is still in high school. It's not that Dani thinks of her as a kid or anything like that—their age gap is only 2 years, after all—but it's still awkward to crush on someone who's still studying when you're working on a stable job already. That is, if you count Walmart as anything remotely close to stable.

"Wait, band practise?"

Sarah waves her hand noncommitedly. "Yeah, yeah. Rock band, marching band, I don't care. She wasted my time and gas, that's what I care about."

The war that never happened has taken a lot from Grace, so it's nice to picture Grace as something other than a hardened, calloused soldier ready to die for the greater good. "Grace and music, huh?"

Dani smiles dreamily. Things are starting to look good now. Diego and Pops will leave the hospital soon. Carl's family has found out and accepted him for who he is. And yeah, Sarah's jokes are unbearable at times—

_"Hey, Carl. What do you call yourself when you retire?" _

_"..." _

_"An exterminator!" _

—but being in this overstuffed, cramped apartment with Grace and learning how to live together is… nice. It's really nice.

It's not as nice as she'd thought when Sarah leans in close into her face, eyes all judgmental. "You have this _look _on your face."

"What look?"

"That look that says you have the hots for someone." A pause. "Or maybe you just farted." Another pause. "Hey Carl! Do you think she has a crush on someone or did she just fart?"

"Negative," Carl, appearing right behind Dani out of literally fucking nowhere, says. Dani, of course, almost falls off of the couch, because how can she not have a heart attack and why don't anyone ever knock anymore? Ignoring Dani's wails of _why does this keep happening to me? _his face tilts at Sarah mechanically. "I do not detect a disruptive odor."

"Huh." Sarah looks at Dani. Carl does the same, likely mimicking her, or perhaps as curious as she is. "Who do you have a crush on? Is it John? Please don't tell me it's John."

"What?! No! Your son's, like, in his forties or something! Why would I have a crush on him?!"

Sarah shrugs. "Eh. It happens."

The door swings open, and Grace trudges through in her usual calculated, silent footsteps. Her face brightens when she sees Dani, and she abandons her stealth code to shoo Sarah away so she can sit right next to Dani. Dani notices that she's holding a plastic bag, and before she can ask, Grace says, "I got you your favorite pudding."

Dani smiles in excitement, though she's confused. She lets Grace open the bag and put all the contents outside. Dani's eyes widen, taking in what she's seeing. "Wait, this is the same flavor as that one from Texas, like, three months ago."

And the only reason Dani herself remembers is because that's the first (and hopefully only) time she's seen Grace so disappointed in her.

_"Hey, hey, Grace? What do you call Carl when he's retired?" _

_"..." _

_"An exterminator!" _

_"... You stole that from Sarah, didn't you?" _

"Of course I remembered." Grace holds up one of the cups and extends it to her, a cheeky smile on her face. "How could I forget the look of utter euphoria on your face when you ate it for the first time. You practically came in front of me."

"I did _not_!" Dani fumes and curses herself for being so prone to blushing. For someone who's so inexperienced in socialising, Grace can seriously tick her off.

"Puh-_leez _, you _so _did!"

Dani scoffs, crosses her arms, waites, then, after seeing Grace wiggling the cup suggestively and with a raise of the eyebrow, takes it from her with a muttered _thanks_, defeated.

Dani then looks at Grace, who seems to be enjoying herself with her own pudding, and clears her throat expectantly. Grace turns to her with a lost puppy look on her face, spoon still in her mouth. Her _what? _is muffled and sounds like a baby's babble.

Dani looks at Grace, looks at the bag that has two more puddings, looks at Sarah and Carl, who's looking at _her _, and looks at Grace again.

Grace blinks, and retreats the spoon from her mouth. "What?" Dani eyes Carl and Sarah respectively. Grace's eyes follow her. Dani waits. "Oh." A pause. "Um, so, do you want some pudding, Sarah?"

"No."

"Oh thank God."

Dani wants to throttle Grace and slap herself at the same time. She gives Grace a deadpanned look. "Gracey. Amiga."

"What?!" Dani eyes her. Grace looks at Sarah, then at the other person also in the room who's been too polite to say anything, and makes a sound between a scoff and a groan. "Oh c'mon Dan! He's a robot!"

"Cyborg."

"Whatever!" Dani eyes her one last time, and Grace caves. "Fine. Carl. Here." She shoves the last pudding cup into his chest, and he, with old, gentle hands, takes it.

"Cyborgs do not eat."

"Yeah, well, give it to your kid Marletto or something!"

"Mateo."

"Yeah. Him. Or Alicia." Grace thumps back into the couch and gives Dani a flat look. "Happy?"

Dani's smile is genuine. Genuinely bemused. "Very." Respecting guests is a must, even if said guest is an android from another dystopian future who was sent to the past to protect John and Sarah and learned how to blend in with humans once he'd fulfilled his duty.

They chat with the TV as background noise, giving each other updates about their families and what they've been up to, all that jazz.

Mateo and Alicia's been doing fine, though Alicia finds herself wishing for a grandson or granddaughter soon.

John's dream career as a motivational speaker is starting to come true, and Sarah makes a tasteful joke about him bringing faith and hope for everybody no matter what timeline he's in.

Dani mostly listens, and chips in every now and then about Diego and him wanting to become a celebrity.

As time passes, she's starting to notice how quiet Grace is. She bites her lip, and closes the distance between them with a subtle shift. She looks to see if Grace notices, but she doesn't. She's lost in her own world.

Here goes nothing.

"Hey, so, um, there's this movie I've been meaning to see, and funnily enough, it's about time travel, and I was wondering if me and you, we could—"

Grace's phone buzzes. Grace reads whatever's on the screen, looks at Dani distractedly, makes up some excuse about her having to take this and this being important, and leaves.

Something in Dani's chest falls. She's pretty sure it's her heart.

It... stings.

_"Now _I smell a disruptive odor."

"That would be me," Sarah says, because of course it is.

…

Why would Grace ever even want her like that?

Grace is kind, loving, sarcastic, smart, and all in all perfect in every way possible. Meanwhile, she's… well, _her_. She can't afford college, she works at Walmart, and she has no chance whatsoever to have a future a step above mediocre.

Even if (and this is a pretty big if) Grace wants her that way, does Dani even deserve her?

No. Of course not. Grace is too good for a Walmart employee.

Hell, the only reason why Grace approached her is because of a Dani that's not her. Sometimes she still believes the only reason why Grace likes her is because of that Dani, the one who's not a complete failure. Even when Grace has tried to convince her dozens of times—

_"Dani. I know you're not her. I know you'll never _be _her. And honestly? I'm glad. You... She… She wasn't happy. She was never happy, no matter how much I tried to make her happy. I don't care if you're not some kind of resistance leader from some abandoned future, you're still you, and I like you." _

—it's still hard, at times, to believe that she is that Dani, and that she isn't.

No matter how much Carl and Sarah and Grace try to convince her otherwise, Dani's beliefs never waver: time travel is confusing as fuck.

"Dani."

"Jesus fucking Christ." Dani stumbles from her chair and would've fallen if not for Grace's quick reflexes. "Holy shit, don't you people ever learn how to knock?! It's common courtesy!"

"Sorry." To Grace's credit she_ does_ look sheepish. "Hey, um, are you busy?"

She is. "Nope."

"Cool. So, um, can we go somewhere? I know it's almost midnight and you need rest to be functional in order to—"

"Yeah, sure. I'll go." Stop being so thirsty, damn it!

Dani's embarrassment subsides at Grace's relieved look. "Cool, cool. Can we go _now _?"

"Yup!"

A pause.

"Um, do you want me to go so you can get ready?"

"Definitely not." Grace's jaw drops. Dani pales, pales some more, and forces a laugh out of herself that sounds more robotic than Carl's laugh. "Joking, joking!"

Grace's laugh doesn't sound as awkward as hers, but it's still too breathy to be a real laugh.

Dani doesn't stop blushing for 15 minutes.

…

"So, where exactly are we going?"

Dani inhales the strong bitter scent of Grace's leather jacket, and revels in how snuggly it is. She really shouldn't have let Grace lend her her jacket, especially over a quiet _it's kinda cold out here, huh? _but it's surprisingly comforting. Plus, Grace looks so dead set on keeping her from getting sick, what could've she done? Once Grace has set her mind on something, not even Fate can keep her from that something.

The stroll to the park would be creepy if not for the streetlights' yellow light, giving it an ambient, almost nostalgic aesthetic.

They walk side by side, as always.

"I've been researching a lot about music, lately," Grace says instead of answering her question like a normal human being.

Dani gives her a sideways glance. "Heard from Sarah you were in a band." Dani's been wondering about that, lately. What kind of music she plays. What instrument she plays. Whether she's close with anyone in that band.

Dani can see it: Grace playing the drums or guitar, rocking out to Avenged Sevenfold's _Nightmare _or Nirvana's _Smells Like Teen Spirits _, all leathers and piercings and studs and a total raw badassery that only she can convey properly.

Grace shakes her head. "Not in a band. Practising _with _a band. So, yeah. That and poetry."

Dani isn't sure there's a difference between the two. Also, "Poetry? _Really? _Thought you hated Shakespeare."

"I did. But not you."

Dani looks at her. "I don't like Shakespeare."

Grace doesn't look back. "But you did. Once."

She did. Once. "How do you know?"

"I've been talking to Diego, lately."

"About Shakespeare?"

"About you."

Dani's steps waver, but she pushes through, and keeps on walking until she's ahead of Grace. "What about me?" The air is getting hotter, but she finds herself hiding in the comfiness of Grace's jacket more and more.

"What do you mean by that?"

Dani isn't sure how to feel about how softly Grace has spoken those words.

"Well, I'm... _me._"

Dani forces herself to stop and turn around when she no longer hears footsteps.

Grace's eyes, under the fiery yellow lights and the warm blue shadows, narrowed and predatory, paralyses Dani. Her shadow stretches further into the darkness of the night, and her silhouette strengthens the sharpness in her features, the broadness of her shoulders, and the beauty in her grace.

"Exactly."

Dani doesn't remember how she gets from Point A to Point B. How can she remember anything after Grace gives her _that _look?

One moment, they're walking in the empty street, and the next, Dani is facing a small round table with two chairs, a red sheet covering it, candles, what smells like spagetthi, rose petals and a guitar on the ground, and a blushing, stuttering Grace telling her _you don't, like, have to do this if you don't want to _and _oh gosh is this a stupid idea I feel like this is a stupid idea _and _fuck this is such a bad idea you're in shell-shock _and finally, the beginnings of _let me take you home and we'll forget this ever happened _which Dani prevents her from finishing with a finger on the lips.

"You don't want all of this effort to go to waste, do you?"

Grace doesn't stutter panickedly after that. At least, not so much.

…

It's not much different from them usual hanging out. Only now, Dani notices and enjoys more of the huskiness in Grace's voice, the dark mascara applied in her eyes, contrasting against the lightness of them, and how gentlemanly she is.

"Did you take lessons from Carl?"

Grace flushes, looks away, puts spaghetti in her mouth, and chews as she says, "I may have, um, asked him to give me... enlightenment." She looks back at Dani, and her flush increases, as well as her offense. "Oh c'mon! I don't know how any of this shit works! I'm desperate, alright?!"

Dani takes a dainty bite, chews with little noise, swallows with less noise, and smiles at Grace. "It's just sweet is all."

Grace looks at her, gobsmacked and at a loss, and Dani feels powerful, knowing _she's _the one that did this to her. Dani's smile turns into a grin. Grace swallows her spaghetti, but makes no move to take another bite. Odd for the girl with a blackhole for a stomach. "I uh…"

Deciding to tease Grace further, Dani hunches over the desk, leans in, and wipes a thumb over the side of her mouth, sliding from her lips down to her chin, staying there. Not for the first and last time, Dani looks down at Grace. "You had a little something there."

"I did?"

No. No, she did not.

Dani settles back down and stirs up a new round of conversation. It takes Grace 4 minutes to snap out of her reverie.

…

"So, what's up with the guitar?"

Grace stomps on her heavy boot, and groans. "I was hoping you wouldn't notice that."

Dani gives her an incredulous look. "How would I not notice? It's like, right there," she says, gesturing down to the guitar literally, as she said, _right there_, right next to her.

"Well, you normies don't have night visions so…"

Dani scoffs, affronted, but not really. "Just because we can't see in HD BluRay doesn't mean we're blind, you enhanced weirdo!"

Did Grace seriously believe her own words?

"Worth a shot…"

Yes. Yes, she did.

Dani watches as Grace bends over to retrieve the guitar and sit back down on the chair. The candles have worn themselves out. There's no light but the light of the city, bright and colorful and neon, a blur against the clearness of Grace.

That's when it hits Dani, what Grace is going to do.

"Are you really going to—"

"Just shut up, okay?" Grace looks up at her, pleading and blushing, and looks down on the instrument. "It's embarrassing enough as it is."

So Dani watches, transfixed, as Grace plays. She's not graceful or great at it, but there's something genuine in the way she plays, something heart-tugging at the fact that she's playing _at all_, and it makes Dani want to cry.

But of course, it's not ethical to cry on your first date, so Dani holds it in, and waits until Grace finishes and puts down the guitar before she hugs her.

"Are you hugging me because you like it or because you feel sorry for me for being able to play _that _horrendously?"

Dani pulls away to cup her in the cheeks and look her in the eyes, grinning like a madwoman. "Wanna take a guess, dork?"

And then they kiss. Short. Sweet. A total fairytale romance. Something out of a heavenly dream. Because of course it is. Because this is Grace here.

They break apart, and stare at each other. Grace swallows, opens her mouth, and Dani kisses her before any word comes out of her mouth because this is _so _not the time for talking.

Dani smiles through the kiss. Grace is uncertain, and uncoordinated, and clumsy. She's nervous of not being good enough and being too much, and Dani loves her more for it.

So Dani guides her. She makes sure not to push things too far, not to roam her hands too much, and to keep things comfortable and safe between the two of them. This isn't Dani's first kiss, but it must be Grace's first kiss, and this is_ their_first kiss, so she's going to make sure it's something worth remembering. Something never to forget.

They don't do more than kiss. But that's okay. Dani prefers it that way. It's not like they're in a rush. They have all the time in the world to be patient with each other, and to take things as slowly as they want.

…

The night is full of laughter. The kind of laughter that bends you over, gives you pain in the stomach and tears in your eyes, and makes you wonder how it feels not to be this happy.

Grace talks about how much effort she puts in on learning the guitar, and how much she never wants to do it again, complaining about how much it hurts to have your skin pressing against the metal of the strings.

Dani chooses not to point out how she was literally in the military and held dangerous weapons and had been shot at and stabbed at and enhanced at and _really_ shouldn't complain about _instruments_, of _all_ things.

At one point, Dani begins giggling. Soon after that point, she begins twirling. Grace tries to hold her to keep her from falling, but all that does is make her spin along with Dani.

They make fun of the 'boyfriend standing right by the doorstep, all chivalrous and kind and secretly hoping for a make-out session' trope, with Grace leaning her elbow against the doorframe and pocketing her other arm, and Dani pretending to fan herself and be all lithe by hiding her mouth over her hand.

Only, instead of a forced make-out session, it's a simple kiss on the cheek, followed by a dumbfounded _uuuummm _from Grace, and more laughter from Dani.

…

"It was Carl's idea, wasn't it?" Dani taps her fingers onto the wooden surface of the kitchen as she waits for the hot water to actually turn hot. "The roses and the candles and the—" a snort "—the spaghetti?"

She hears a shuffling that may or may not be Grace untying her boots. "Actually, it was Sarah's."

Dani halts. "No shit?"

"No shit." Dani rushes with their cocoa, and asks Grace to elaborate as she sits down and warns Grace not to touch the mug yet since it's too hot despite Grace's insistence that she's enhanced and mild heat won't hurt her. "Yeah. I came to her, of all people, because, well, I figured that she was in the same position as you were, once upon a time."

It takes Dani a while. Then, "Oh." Dani tries to touch the cocoa, winces at the heat, and waves off Grace's concerns. Mild heat won't hurt her. "What'd she say?"

"She didn't say shit."

"Of course she didn't."

Grace blows the cocoa, and watches with a content fascination at the way the smoke bellows out and around the room, giving it a sort of misty vibe.

Dani watches her watching.

"Okay, so maybe she said some shit."

"Useful shit?"

"Maybe useful shit."

"What's the shit?"

Grace looks at her, and the grey reflection of smoke dancing around the room flashes in her eyes. "No fate but what we make of it."

"Ah. That shit."

"Yeah. That shit."

A pause. "So what's up with the Shakespeare shit?"

It's hard to see anything in this lowlightning, but from the way Grace says, "Shit," Dani's pretty sure she's blushing. "So, um, yeah. I tried to memorise it since Diego told me how much you used to like it, but… yeah, I got distracted."

"By what?"

"You."

So Dani does the only thing she can do: put the cocoa on the table, coax Grace into doing the same, straddle her and kiss her in the midnight and the winter, and enjoy life.

Dani pulls away, and finds Grace grinning dopily up at her, and thinks that maybe she's done something right in her mediocre life, that maybe she's done _everything _right by putting that smile there and making Grace _this_ happy.

Dani smiles, pecks her mouth, and says, "He's overrated anyway."


End file.
